These past days seem to hit me harder then hurricane Katrina and i stand from the flood destroyed rooftops yelling for help without an answer. Im so broke beyond inflation measures, i wish i can talk about clothes, school, and going out but instead i worry...i worry about food being on the table for my grandfather and making sure he's ok...and his Alzheimer's is getting worst...UGH!
Last nite he shitted everywhere and at 5 am where most people my age are sleeping, partying or doing whatever the fuck people my age do, i was struggling to get my grandfather in the tub to wash him up, and get the horrible stench of human waste off of him and my life.......
Right now i hate my family because it seems like since im outta their sight, im off their mind....Today i couldnt even move literally, i was tired......mentally strained, physically weighed down and emotionally crushed....i could do nothing but cry or rather sob.....i really hope i can get this job, cuz Lord knows i need it.....but i need HIM more. Im just a fugitive in a foreign land....i think i need to see a therapist seriously.....all of these polyps are building in my colon, and im constipated in every way possible...
Last nite he shitted everywhere and at 5 am where most people my age are sleeping, partying or doing whatever the fuck people my age do, i was struggling to get my grandfather in the tub to wash him up, and get the horrible stench of human waste off of him and my life.......
Right now i hate my family because it seems like since im outta their sight, im off their mind....Today i couldnt even move literally, i was tired......mentally strained, physically weighed down and emotionally crushed....i could do nothing but cry or rather sob.....i really hope i can get this job, cuz Lord knows i need it.....but i need HIM more. Im just a fugitive in a foreign land....i think i need to see a therapist seriously.....all of these polyps are building in my colon, and im constipated in every way possible...
Self-inflicted torture that i seem to be addicted to
walls are closing in and i look at myself in such disdain
come kiss it and make it better but it only seems to get worst
scratched of scars; blood seaps from my heart...and like a hemophilliac i bleed
8.20.08
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