crutches

life becomes that much more complex when you are someone's crutch


you lose a vast amount of selfishness in which you therefore gain in humility and appreciation for life


you carry them on your shoulders, buck your knees, and walk for bare life


walk for those who cant get up


run for those who have no ambition


stand up for those who are mute with despair


and strive for those who are unaccomplished


i appreciate those who overlook my flaw, embrace my strengths, and excepts all that i am and aspire to be


i know that my current situations will convert in producing my character but first i must die to what i was to be reborn into everything i hope for


6.2.08

feels like dying

everyday feels like dying

im crying on the inside

i cant speak my pain

i've adapted to denying

my fears and curses

are made alive

everynight i hope to die

goes from bad to worst

i dread waking up

my life smells foul

and my only movement

is in a bowel

wipe my ass with a towel

dont like it pick a vowel

cuz one day it might just be

a.e.i.o. YOU!

saisons de le vie

my coldest winter was in 03
u left me a bastard child
now i stand in the elements
bare breasted
and without a soul
a vacant heart
that refuse to be occupied
lost friendship that
probably were never mine
im engaged to misery
im going to marry my doom
my once in a lifetime
came and left too soon
in spring, my flowers
wont nourish or grow
summer,i wish you never
existed
and in fall i gather my acorns
because i know another
cold winter is to come

12.12.08

body bag me!

To make a long story short, HUGE cut on my face, argument, silly me!
happy fucking thanksgiving everyone!


leaches sucking at my brain
insane convulsion
dont allow me oxygen
unplug the life support
bypass me
then body bag me
die!

11.21.08

roar!

conversations with you are in vain

unsatisfying kisses

my heart roars like a protective lion,
step away from my queens

because he knows what my eyes cant see

the sunset were beautiful but the midnight air were strangely cool

you secured me to climb the latter than let me fall

now i cant forget

11.18.08

lukewarm

drenched in this inconsolable sorrow

my soul cries but my eyes wont shed tears
feels like my inside are vomiting

eyesight are blurred ,im in a daze
i never felt so numb, so unfulfilled

and nothing taste more sour than
this bitterness

im feasting in this lukewarm
emptiness

parched paths has lead me to astray but
the strange part is that i thirst not

11/18/08

from mercy to union sq

So i spent the day with bestie loaded with walkin,gluttony,thrifting,more walking,laughter,and arguing


We started off in union sq walked to l.e.s went to this stink ass thrift and on they way we argued cuz sum dumbass 1$ used books lol anyways bestie wanted to get this nice top for $10 but she didnt get it than she regretted it cuz she saw the same fuckin top for almost $50 in uban outfitter<----overrated


So watever we ate pizza @ dis bootleg pizza shop in l.e.s. kinda nasty so we just decided to go to billyburg to eat again cuz they have way better pizza...we were sum fat ass pigs yesterday but hey we needed energy from the marathon we walked



We got lost lookin for the j train than my metro card didnt fuckin work sumhow i was pissed so i just snuck my fatass in threw the door



Anyways the end im tired of writing